Never Again...

I think I had one of the Oprah "Ah-ha!" moments. I've experienced what I had to experience in order to "know". And the experience has made me learn that I don't like it. It's boring and not appealing to me at all. It was just weird. So with that said, moving to try new experiences...

Stephen said, "I don't think I can take the distance any longer."
I mean we're only 45min-1hr apart. I'm (Me) (Yo!) always the one who goes down to Brighton the most. We try to take turns, but I guess because of his work schedule I feel or it seems that I tend to travel down to Brighton more than he comes up to Fort Collins. I asked him if he was going to break up with me because of it. He said no. If he did, it would be the dumbest reason ever. He moved to Brighton back in August and we've been together for almost a year. It would seriously break my heart if we broke up with me over that reason. I asked him what he was going to do about it and he said he didn't know. I guess our little challenge now is just to try and find more time together with his schedule and mine. I love him and I don't know what I'd do without him.

I'm Determined to Make Myself Better

My health has been a challenge. I think my weight is the main cause of it too. I was really sick and went in for a doctor's visit not too long ago. I did some blood work and the results were not very pleasing to hear. My A1C was 6.6, a little high, although my glucose was 95. Something's wrong with my liver in association with my glucose reading. The doctor told me I might be glucose intolerant and have a fatty liver. She also asked me whether I had a cold when I went and did the blood work. She found some type of infection, but I guess she doesn't know where. Furthermore... she asked whether or not there was a family history of arthritis or lupus in my family, and I told her no. Blood work came back and said there might be something going on there too. I definitely have plantar fasciitis. My heel hurts so bad... it's going to take months to heal. She wants me to lose 2 pounds a week, eat more healthy, exercise... But I am determined to make myself better. It's what I'm focused on now.

Stephen and I

We will be a year on May 27th, 2009. Time flies by... I haven't seen him in about two weeks now due to my work schedule and his work schedule. He's been stressed out a lot too. I wrote him another letter:

Honey,

It has almost been a year with everything that has happened to us. My love for you has proven to be true even through tough times. Every single day that passes, I thank God for you; for being in my life. I love you more than you could ever imagine. Baby, you mean the world to me and I want to be with you every chance I get because our time is always precious and I want to cherish every moment of it. Together we can do anything. Our love is what keeps a smile on my face, knowing that you care and will always be there. I can’t imagine where I would be right now if you were not here with me. I love you!

Just remember, not only do you make a difference as an EMT, but you touch other peoples’ lives with your selflessness and caring heart. You do the best you can and all that you can for all these people. It touches my heart at how much you care. I want to see you happy, honey. Sometimes, when you try your best and some of them don’t make it, I don’t want you to beat yourself up for it. Just know that you have tried your best, which you do all the time.

I love you and I miss you so much. Hopefully, I can see you next week.

Love you times infinity,
Amy